“When life knocks you down, you have two choices-stay down or get up.”
Tom Krause
I am a coach by nature. I have always loved watching others compete and I have always relished in the opportunity to compete. Competition, for me, goes beyond the world of sports, but because of my profession, I commonly analyze many things through that lens. My favorite sport is basketball, I played in my younger days and now I coach at the high school level so I am invested in learning more in order to win. Mr. Coach Clark is not only my husband, but he is also a coach and competitor so because of our roles and personalities, he and I spend a great deal of our time conversing and talking X’s and O’s. However, we also tend to focus on the mental aspect of competition because we both regard it to be significant to the success we have during our seasons. We often discuss what strategies we can implement in order to enhance the mental toughness of our athletes on and off the field and even though we have stakes in basketball, football, and soccer; we watch other sports, other athletes battle it out and one of those that I am mesmerized by is Mixed Martial Arts (MMA). I feel that the incorporation of fighting styles employed, the endurance and patience, as well as the persistence it takes to succeed in the sport is why I have such an appreciation for the it.
Life can be like stepping in the Octagon. With each bout, each round, the fighter is going to grapple or be put in a hold they must counter in order to get out of. Even the best of fighters have experienced defeat, one should expect it, and if they don’t anticipate and respect the opponent, they will not be prepared to make those counter moves and reversals. Likewise, in life, no matter a person’s status it is inevitable that one will encounter loss, failure, embarrassment, or some setback that will lead to that proverbial knock down if there is no preparation. Not every difficulty will be life shattering, there will be minor instances, that could range from a misunderstanding with a colleague, something that simply effects the flow of the day; maybe your kid forgot their backpack and conveniently can’t seem to remember where they had it last; or your alarm didn’t do its job one morning. One can have a single experience or have to encounter a series of events that would make the most reasonable person consider packing up for a voluntary psychiatric hold, but no matter how prepared you think you are, believe me it will happen. Now, don’t get me wrong, I am not speaking death and destruction into existence, but again-inevitable, you will get knocked down. Are you going to stay down or get up?
No matter the magnitude of the struggle, even the smallest of dilemmas have brought me to that metaphorical “fork in the road”. Of course, it would be easier in many ways at the onset of those episodes to go lock myself away to wallow in self-pity, blame the world, maybe even cross my fingers as I will the situation to dissipate, and just stay down as the saying goes, but that isn’t me-never has been. I won’t lie, especially in my younger days, I considered staying down, however, instead of staying on my back feeling demoralized, I chose to pause, ponder, scrutinize, and pray about which prong of the fork I will take. It no longer takes as much time for me to contemplate because now I will “get up” every single time.
Ironically, just because a person get older, gains more experience, those knock downs do not lessen. In fact, knock downs continue to occur with more power and at times more consistency. Pair that with more intense punches facing off against more experienced competitors and advanced combinations, I will admit going down the path to check myself in for a voluntary psych hold has seemed quite appealing at times, yet I shake myself back to reality. When I look at this (whatever “this” maybe in that moment) from a coaching perspective I realize I have essentially been training my entire life to counter those punches helping me avoid take downs that could ultimately result in me tapping out.
Today, I reported for the 2023-2024 school year, and as I sat in our All Coaches Meeting I began to think about what I can do in order to teach, to coach, to model success that can be achieved not just at the final buzzer, but to train our scholar-athletes to find a position to hold their ground, to grapple, and do what they need to do without letting the opponent force them into submission. I feel like young people today are all too-almost eager, to tap out because it is easier. If they tap, they have the excuse that they didn’t really try. If they submit, they didn’t truly fail and that is their victory because of the stigma that has somehow been connected with failure. DON’T FAIL!
Coaching is not as easy as some people perceive. There is not only one athlete, only one position to focus on. We as coaches have personnel to consider, who meshes best with who, which athlete is best for each position, offenses, and defenses, and scouting the opponent. . We have to teach them how to win together, to lose as a team, and deal with conflict amongst each other. We stay up late worrying about personal, their personal needs at their home or wherever they may be staying. We stress whether they have a ride to practice, food at home, their grades, their self-worth, and their mental stability, Oh, and we create these elaborate practice plans in preparation for the game just to get there to face foul trouble, some questionable calls, sprained ankles, torn ACL’s, turnovers, and mental breakdowns.
I almost feel like I went on a tangent, but believe me when I say WE LOVE YOUR KID! Out of all the things we do and think we love YOUR kid. We wouldn’t do all of the things we do if it didn’t matter to us, if they didn’t matter to us. We are a special breed of people and I am proud to be a part of the team. So, just know when it is hard, I won’t tap out. When it doesn’t go as planned, I won’t tap out. When all the things don’t seem to go MY way, I won’t tap out. WHY? Because when your kid only gets 5 minutes of playing time, I don’t want them to tap out. Because when your kid didn’t pass that test, I don’t want them to tap out. Because when it matters, I don’t want them to tap out!
Mr & Mrs Coach 