Despite the Christmas tree shining bright in the living room and the lights on the roof, it doesn’t feel like the holidays at all. We did not go Christmas shopping, we are not visiting family, or doing anything else on the traditional Clark Family Christmas agenda. I am not sharing for sadness or pity, but personally, I am just having a difficult time getting into the Christmas spirit. It isn’t like I am moping around the house like Scrooge, I just know in the back of my head there are bigger more important details to consider. Even without daily visits to the doctor, we have a new normal that consists of making sure Khloe is ok. It helps that all of the kids are older, we don’t have to worry about that dang Elf on the Shelf, or getting the kids to bed so Santa could make his appearance, although I do miss those days.
The best way for me to detail this new normal would be similar to Runaway Mountain at Six Flags, you’re going up then down, then around like almost any other coaster, but all in the dark. We know there are going to be turns and drops ahead, but we can’t see when it is coming. It doesn’t matter which medicine she is taking or which cycle she is in, all have side effects, and in turn, there are other prescriptions she has to counter those responses. In the lineup of the more common side effects are constipation, blurred vision, stomach cramps, and drooping eyelids. and while there are some lesson common side effects such as seizures and mental depression we are nevertheless navigating in foggy waters.
Vincristine is another one of the chemotherapy drugs on the menu and is one of the more consistent medicines that will be administered throughout the duration of her treatment. While it only takes a total of five minutes to deliver, it is causing Khloe to experience some of the painful side effects. She started having numbness and tingling in her fingers and toes a little after the first dose, but now the numbness is spreading throughout her legs along with some jaw pain, headaches, and weakness. As miserable as she has been at times, she won’t show it.
It has only been 42 days, but it has been only 42 days. In retrospect, it seems like all of this; her diagnosis, two surgeries, radiation, and chemotherapy just happened, but she still has approximately 260 days to go. For 42 days, Khloe has worried about pretty much everyone else besides herself. She has not desired pity, or attention, and she doesn’t even care that her hair will fall out. Instead, Khloe is more concerned whether or not I ate dinner or got enough sleep. She expressed to me two days ago how she was sad that she hadn’t gotten her dad or brothers any gifts for Christmas then asked if I could help her with that.
Khloe won’t have any treatments next week, which we are all thankful for, but the week after she has to be admitted to the hospital for that round of chemo. Meanwhile, I will be vigorously researching the upcoming combination of cancer-fighting potions that are on the menu for January 3.
Mr & Mrs Coach 